Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air. Ingenious marriage proposals are being planned (real and imaginary). Chocolate and rose sales are skyrocketing. Restaurant reservations are at a premium. Women’s expectations are at an all time high (only to be dashed by a card and gas station jewelry). Sad, depressing, lonely people are even more sad, depressing, and lonely. Plus, they hate everyone around them.
Still looking for that special gift for that special someone? Why not get him or her a card or board game? A game for two can be quite a bonding and intimate experience…especially with stripping house rules. Our resident Looooooove Doctor, Patrick, has picked out a few games that would be great gifts to show your Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter that you really care.
- Pandemic – Working together to solve a problem, a quintessential aspect of having a relationship. And when you’re working together to stop the zombie plague from taking over the Northern Hemisphere? That’s what separates the summer flings from the long-term things. “In sickness and in health”, indeed!
- Tokaido – A long, leisurely walk along a scenic road, visiting interesting places, meeting new people, trying strange food, buying stuff, that’s the stuff perfect dates are made of. And with Tokaido, you don’t even need to leave the house!
- Ticket to Ride – Or how about a nice scenic train ride along the U.S. countryside? Well, you can build that for other imaginary couples in Ticket to Ride. Not very romantic, I guess. But when you see your special someone get upset, ragequit, and Anne Wheaton the board, you realize you found the perfect partner.
- Once Upon a Time – When you and your loved one sit down to tell a tale, you get a real insight on how they think, and you realize they’re just as sick and twisted as you are. That’s love, my friend.
- The Princess Bride Game – Speaking of love stories, how about the greatest love story ever told? I really don’t know anything about the game, but you’ll have hours of fun reciting lines of dialogue from the movie to each other.
- Castle Panic – You’ve always felt that it was you and him/her against the world, now you can act that out…especially if your world is full of orcs and trolls.
- Dungeons & Dragons – Speaking of orcs and trolls (hey, look at it this way, I could have seriously segued the whole article like that), you and your love goblin could always find a D&D group to become a part of. You could play lovers in the game. Find a quiet spot in a dungeon crawl and simulate getting it on while the rest of the party is forced to wait for you. They’ll like that, and it’s not awkward at all! It’s like exhibitionism without the threat of Johnny Law cock blocking you! Roll for Dexterity!
- Taboo – They say that couples with a strong bond form a mental connection. What better way to demonstrate your connection than by crushing your friends at a game? And if you and your partner are no good at the game, well, that means you don’t have that special bond. Might as well break up.
- Fluxx – A card game that is actually a pretty good metaphor for married life. Change is constant, your goals change, the rules change, what’s important to you changes. I guess that must mean that Creepers = your in-laws.
- Love Letter – Blah blah blah love, blah blah blah whatever.
So there you go, my list of sure-fire gifts for that special someone this Valentine’s Day. Now, if you’ll forgive me, I have to run off to my third job to pay off that diamond necklace I bought my wife. I guess I should have written this article before I bought her gift….
– Patrick
Nobody Wants the Thimble 